We heard there was an accident at the turn off on the highway and never thought much about it until Paddy O’Reilly’s Missus called in asking for Dad’s help. A truck driver had fallen asleep at the wheel and run Paddy’s farm truck off the road.
Dad used to be a lawyer but said he got tired of the constant struggle with his conscience and the way the law seemed to work best when you were wealthy and screw those who were poor, so he left and bought the farm. He was no fool and was getting a bit of a local reputation for his legal advice. He had that kind of simple country reasoning that rephrased the most complex issues into plain simple terms.
So we all were quite surprised when he said he was going to represent Paddy O’Reilly in court. Paddy wasn’t exactly top of the local Mensa candidates list here. In fact if you ranked folks on their smarts here, Paddy would be just above the General Store’s guard dog, Lucky, who had a problem distinguishing between customers and burglars and had been run over twice when sleeping on the road.
Paddy was trying to recover his hospital expenses and loss of earnings after the accident on the freeway turnoff. Paddy had been coming home with four new cows he’d bought at the stock market in Mernda. The local lawyers said Paddy didn’t have a case because he had told police at the accident scene, he was uninjured. Paddy’s last resort was Dad and was quite surprised when Dad said he had a strong case, so strong that Dad would represent him!
The day of the case came up and we sat in the back row of the court. The truck company had three lawyers, with wigs and cloaks, each with one of those suitcases on wheels, full of documents and law books. From where we sat, it looked like poor old Paddy had no chance, out gunned and out numbered, sitting there with his leg in plaster and his arm in a sling. Dad sat beside him – no wig, no gown. In his best suit, he looked great but just not as snappy as the other side’s lawyers.
The trucking company called Paddy to the stand and grilled him remorselessly until he was reduced to a jabbering mess. They kept driving home the fact that Paddy had said he was uninjured. Impassively the judge just sat there and watched it happen. It really didn’t look good and we were all convinced that Paddy would lose. Then Dad stood up and began to question Paddy. He even began by getting Paddy to confirm he had said he was uninjured in his own words.
“Patrick O’Reilly, you have just confirmed that you told the police officer in attendance that you were uninjured, correct?”
“Y, yes s-sir.” stammered poor old Paddy, “But I didn’t see I had no choice!” Paddy blurted.
Dad moved in closer to Paddy and softened his tone, relaxing Paddy a little. “Oh? Why did you feel you had no choice but to say you were uninjured?”
‘Well”, said Paddy, more composed now. “You see, this copper appeared out of the smoke, saw two cows had broken legs, pulled his gun and shot both of them. The other two tried to bolt and he shot them too! Tess my cattle dog was hurt bad so he shot him as well! If I said I was injured too, what do you think he do to me? So I told him I was fine!”
Paddy won his case after Dad submitted Paddy’s IQ Test results.